Until now, we have been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Spring, a gifted therapist and the award-winning author of “After the Affair,” proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives—without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for genuine forgiveness—one that asks as much of the offender as it does of us.
This bold and healing book offers step-by-step, concrete instructions that help us make peace with others and with ourselves, while answering such crucial questions as these: How do I forgive someone who is unremorseful or dead? When is forgiveness cheap? What is wrong with refusing to forgive? How can the offender earn forgiveness? How do we forgive ourselves for hurting another human being?
Published to extraordinary media attention - O'Reilly Factor, CBS Early Show, Fox News Edge, Diane Rehm - Janis Abrahms Spring
's long awaited second book expertly tackles the sensitive issue of forgiveness by giving real people a new model from which they can heal from interpersonal injuries, by debunking myths, and by controversially setting the record straight that forgiveness is not the only all-or-nothing sound response to injury. The topic of forgiveness is fast becoming one of the key concepts in psychotherapy. With illuminating anecdotes and case material based on nearly 30 years of clinical experience, Janis Spring controversially reveals that we have more options than just forgiving or not forgiving. From forgotten birthdays to deliberate sexual offences, infidelity and disloyalty, How Can I Forgive You? Takes a bold, new position that frees us from the corrosive effects of hate and helps us to make peace with both the person who has hurt us and with ourselves.
By providing concrete, step-by-step instructions for both the hurt party and the offender, spring brings to light a new, empowering model that is bound to change forever the way we think about forgiveness, regardless of whether or not the offending party is willing to apologize.
Janis Abrahms Spring
, Ph.D., ABPP, is a renowned expert on issues of trust, intimacy, and forgiveness. A Diplomate in Clinical Psychology, she has served as a clinical supervisor in the Department of Psychology at Yale University. She is the best-selling author of After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful and a recipient of the Connecticut Psychological Association's Award for Distinguished Contribution to the Practice of Psychology.