A laugh-out-loud poetry collection for kids from How I Met Your Mother screenwriter Chris Harris, richly illustrated by the Kate Greenaway Medal-winning Lane Smith.
"Highly recommended. I think it will make children wriggle with delight" Stephen Fry
If I ever find myself holding a gecko . . . I'll lecko.
Forget what you think you know about poetry - this is something totally different. Chris Harris's I'm Just No Good At Rhyming combines wit, wordplay and nonsense with visual and verbal tricks to make you look at the world in a new and wonderfully upside-down way, reminiscent of Shel Silverstein.
I'm just no good at rhyming. It makes me feel so bad. I'm just no good at rhyming, And that's why I'm so blue.
This entirely unique collection of wildly witty words offers a surprise around every corner, from the ongoing rivalry between the author and illustrator (mean poem and cruel portrait included), to the mysteriously misnumbered pages that can only be deciphered by a certain code-cracking verse, to a poem that is 100% genuinely infinite. Meet a balding werewolf, competitive boulders, a birthday piranha, and find out if grown-ups really are better!
Why are grown-ups better than kids? 'Cause we got what it takes - We never, ever, ever, ever, ever, make mistaeks!
Adding to the fun: Lane Smith, winner of the CILIP Kate Greenaway Medal for There Is a Tribe of Kids, has spectacularly illustrated this extraordinary collection with nearly one hundred pieces of appropriately absurd art. It's a mischievous match made in heaven and the perfect gift for creative kids or immature grown-ups.
Chris Harris is a writer and executive producer for How I Met Your Mother and a writer for The Late Show with David Letterman. His pieces have appeared in The New Yorker, Esquire, ESPN, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and on NPR. He lives in Los Angeles.
Lane Smith is the creator of It's a Book, It's a Little Book, Grandpa Green and A Perfect Day. In 2017 he won the CILIP Kate Greenaway Medal for There Is a Tribe of Kids. Lane Smith and his wife, the designer Molly Leach, live in a small town in rural Connecticut, USA.
Chapter - 1: The Abdominal Snowman
Chapter - 2: Alphabet Book (by the Laziest Artist in the World)
Chapter - 3: The Argument
Chapter - 4: The Child's Farewell
Chapter - 5: Chocolate for Breakfast
Chapter - 6: A Cold-Air Balloon
Chapter - 7: The Cyclops Just Got Glasses
Chapter - 8: Deep in the Land of Ca'narot
Chapter - 9: Disneyland Had Nothing on This Place
Chapter - 10: The Door
Chapter - 11: The Duel
Chapter - 12: Eight
Chapter - 13: Even the Butterfly
Chapter - 14: Fight Fire with Fire?
Chapter - 15: The Frog Race
Chapter - 16: The Gecko
Chapter - 17: The Good-Child Test
Chapter - 18: Good Things
Chapter - 19: Grown-Ups Are Better (I)
Chapter - 20: Grown-Ups Are Better (II)
Chapter - 21: Grown-Ups Are Better (III)
Chapter - 22: Hey, Kids! Get Your Parents to Read You This Poem!
Chapter - 23: Hey, We Finally Found Someone Who Knows That Story About the Snail Who Saved San Francisco!
Chapter - 24: How the Fourth-Grader Communicates
Chapter - 25: How to Designate an Ungulate
Chapter - 26: The Hungry Giraffe
Chapter - 27: I Am Not Even Going to Talk About This Next Thing
Chapter - 28: I Don't Like My Illustrator
Chapter - 29: I Love Quiet
Chapter - 30: The Ice Cream Mondae
Chapter - 31: If You Ever Have to Memorize a Poem of Twenty Lines or Longer and Deliver It to Your Class, Then This Is a Pretty Good Choice
Chapter - 32: I'm Always Happy in My Room
Chapter - 33: I'm Just No Good at Rhyming
Chapter - 34: I'm Old for My Age
Chapter - 35: I'm Shy on the Outside
Chapter - 36: The Incredible Bargain
Chapter - 37: The Incredible Story of the Day the Glistening City of San Francisco Was Saved from Certain Destruction by a Lowly Snail
Chapter - 38: Infinity Poem
Chapter - 39: The Invisible Horse
Chapter - 40: The Island Where Everyone's Toby
Chapter - 41: Jack Makes a Fatal Strategic Blunder
Chapter - 42: Jack Sprat (Updated)
Chapter - 43: Jigsaw Puzzle Difficulty Chart
Chapter - 44: Just Be Yourself
Chapter - 45: Just Because I'm a Turkey Sandwich and Some Chips Doesn't Mean I Don't Have Feelings Too, You Know!
Chapter - 46: The Last Time I Ever Went Down to Breakfast Without Making My Bed
Chapter - 47: The Latest Bedtime of All
Chapter - 48: The Lemonade Stand Stand
Chapter - 49: Let's Meet Right Here in Twenty-Five Years
Chapter - 50: The Little Hurts
Chapter - 51: Live Each Day Like It's Your Last
Chapter - 52: The Loser's Cheer
Chapter - 53: L-O-V-E
Chapter - 54: Luck
Chapter - 55: The Monster Under My Bed Instead Is Dead
Chapter - 56: Moral: If It's Not Your Magic Wand, Leave It Alone
Chapter - 57: My Dessert Tummy
Chapter - 58: Never Switch Your Laundry Detergent with Your Dishwasher Detergent
Chapter - 59: The New Bad Word
Chapter - 60: Nothing Is Impossible (The Teacher and the Child)
Chapter - 61: Nothing Rhymes with Duthing
Chapter - 62: The Nursery Rhyme "Little Boy Blue", With Some Words Replaced by Delicious Greek Food
Chapter - 63: The Old Woman Who Lived in Achoo
Chapter - 64: On My Intentions of Expanding My Experiences Eating Garden Cuisine, with an Approximate Time Frame Included
Chapter - 65: On the Other Hand, They Both Hate Dandelions
Chapter - 66: The One-Eyed Orr
Chapter - 67: Out on the Farm on a Saturday Night
Chapter - 68: The Parent's Response
Chapter - 69: Picture Puzzle!
Chapter - 70: The Poem That's Titled "The Door"
Chapter - 71: The Poem That's Titled "The Poem That's Titled
The Door'" Chapter - 72: The Poem That's Titled "The Poem That's TitledThe Poem That's Titled "The Door"'"
Chapter - 73: The Poem That's Titled "The Poem That's Titled
The Poem That's Titled "The Poem That's TitledThe Door'"'"
Chapter - 74: The Race
Chapter - 75: The Remarkable Age
Chapter - 76: Re-verse
Chapter - 77: Roller Coaster + Earthquake = ?
Chapter - 78: The Rules of "TIC"
Chapter - 79: Sally the Centipede Gets Her Shoes On to Take a Walk with Her Mum
Chapter - 80: The Secret of My Art
Chapter - 81: A Short Saga
Chapter - 82: The Shortest Anaconda in the World
Chapter - 83: Somebody Stole My Bagel's Hole
Chapter - 84: Sometimes I Don't Want to Share
Chapter - 85: The Sweetest Lullaby Ever (for Parents to Tell Their Children)
Chapter - 86: Ten Ginormous Hippos Jumped on a Bed
Chapter - 87: 'Tis Better
Chapter - 88: Toasted Knight for Lunch Again?
Chapter - 89: Trapped!
Chapter - 90: Two Roads
Chapter - 91: Under My Dragon's Wing
Chapter - 92: Unfair Riddle #1
Chapter - 93: Unfair Riddle #2
Chapter - 94: Unfair Riddle #3
Chapter - 95: The Unipede
Chapter - 96: The Valleys Shape the Mountains
Chapter - 97: The Way We're All the Same
Chapter - 98: What? You Think I Have a Bad Memory?
Chapter - 99: What Happened to Us Monsters? (The Mummy's Lament)
Chapter - 100: The Whydoo Inside You
Chapter - 101: The World's Best Offer
Chapter - 102: Worst. Birthday Party. Ever.
Chapter - 103: Yes Means No and No Means Yes
Chapter - 104: Yesterday's Tomorrow
Chapter - 105: You'll Never Feel as Tall as When You're Ten
The best poetry book of the year The BookBag A magnificently wacky romp through verse... This moving, madcap anthem to language is sure to stand the test of time Booklist Those who claim to hate poetry will enjoy this riotous compilation.... Fans of Ogden Nash, Shel Silverstein, and Jack Prelutsky will rejoice in finding another member of their gang. Smith matches Harris's wit with his own zaniness.... A surefire winner School Library Journal Hits a poetry trifecta: high energy, rhymes that can rival Cole Porter's, and a torrent of ideas.... A worthy heir to Silverstein, Seuss, and even Ogden Nash Publishers Weekly A frolicking romp through the zany world of nonsense verse...wildly imaginative and cleverly illustrated. The inspired and inspiring sense of play knows no bounds. Kirkus Chris Harris is a poet and everyone should know it! Love this book! -- Andrea Beaty, author of Rosie Revere, Engineer There once was a poet named Chris, Whose book is quite hard to dismiss, His poetry skill Gives me quite a thrill And it's hard to write poetry, particularly if it's supposed to rhyme or fit into a certain rhythm, and if you don't believe me, take a look at this. -- Lemony Snicket, author of A Series of Unfortunate Events Chris Harris is one of the funniest, sharpest, cleverest (not a word) writers I've ever known (and I'm not just saying that because we share a last name). This book made me laugh and laugh and laugh. I can't recommend it enough -- Neil Patrick Harris, actor, author, star of How I Met Your Mother I am a grown man and this book made me laugh out loud. When I was a kid, this was the kind of book that made me want to make comedy. -- Jason Segel, actor, screenwriter, producer, star of How I Met Your Mother I'm just no good at describing how wonderful this book is. Smart and sweet, wild and wicked, brilliantly funny - it's everything a book for kids should be. -- BJ Novak, author of The Book With No Pictures Highly recommended. I think it will make children wriggle with delight Stephen Fry
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