Covered in Poo

Based on his nationally award-winning humor columns, Joe Parker’s Covered in Poo is what first-time dads can expect; the good, bad, and the downright gross. Broken up into three “guy-mesters,” let Parker guide you on how fatherhood will change you, pregnancy and birth, and how to take care of a newborn while being completely overwhelmed. Dads-to-be learn valuable advice and brutal truths on a bevy of pertinent topics, including:

• Trying to be a functioning human, a new father and a member of polite society while receiving an amount of sleep that, in any other situation, would be considered a human rights violation
• How being a dad will change your appearance (You will only change your shirt if it has more than three spit-up stains)
• Supporting your pregnant partner (How saying ‘I’m Tired’ can get you killed)
• A guide to parenting terms (If you need a description of what a bottle warmer is, you should reconsider becoming a father)
• Feeding a baby and the phenomenon they don’t starve despite spitting everything up they ingest
• Dealing with dirty diapers (The unavoidable horrors of raising a child)
• Getting baby to sleep (Do not give your child sleep-inducing drugs. They’ll just get used to them and you’ll be back to square one.)
• Discerning sickness in your newborn (Step one: Panic)
• Finding great childcare (Negative sign during a daycare tour: You’re stabbed in the parking lot)
• Vacationing with a newborn (Only through fatherhood can you guarantee you will return from a vacation more stressed than you were before it.)