Waking Up in the Dark Night of Divorce

“Few soul-guides have dared to harness perennial wisdom teachings to help us navigate one of the most excruciating yet common experiences of our lives: the end of an intimate relationship.
In this accessible, lyrical, and practical book, LiYana Silver engages her considerable skills of intelligence, insight, tenderness, and even humor to connect us to something luminous at the heart of our heartbreak. She does not suggest that what got you here is good news; rather, she meets you in the darkness and begins to point out the fruits that can only ripen when your soul gives up trying to solve the human predicament.
As a translator of the 16th century mystical masterpiece Dark Night of the Soul, I applaud LiYana Silver’s invitation to enter the radiant darkness of divorce and allow it to have its transformative way with you.
Love itself is waiting on the other side of this ferocious initiation.”
—Mirabai Starr, translator of Dark Night of the Soul and author of Wild Mercy and Ordinary Mysticism

“This book is a fiercely compassionate and beautifully written guide to help us turn towards our heartbreak and let it reshape us.
As a fellow explorer of dark nights of the soul, I appreciate LiYana for being unafraid to go deep. I found myself (or a friend, colleague, or client) in one or more of the stories—which helps us make sense of our own journeys and find our strength to get through them.
Most spiritual, growth-oriented seekers know in theory that we mustn’t bypass the most difficult pains and challenges. But LiYana shows us, through practices and real-life examples, how to move from theory into action and do our exacting, demanding, and deeply fruitful inner work.
Often, the ordeal is the opportunity for transformation. This book is that map.”
—Britta Eskey, author of Initiations in Love

“With wisdom, candor, and remarkable emotional precision, LiYana Silver explores one of life’s most painful transitions. She neither minimizes the devastation of divorce nor rushes toward redemption. Instead, she illuminates the difficult terrain between an ending and whatever comes next.
She manages to provide both validation and hope: you’re not making up how bad this is (it’s bad). You’re not the only one (you’re in good company). And you’re not just being undone, you’re also being remade. This book reframes divorce as not just something you survive, but one of the bravest, most transformative passages of your life.
For those of us who don’t know what to do or say to a friend in a dark night of heartbreak, now we can show up with a hot beverage, an offer to talk or not talk, and an ear-marked copy of this book.”
—Sarah Ramey, author of The Lady’s Handbook for Her Mysterious Illness

“LiYana doesn’t let you skip the hard parts, and somehow, you’re grateful for it.
This book creates genuine space for the grief, rage, shame, and darkness that most of us are desperate to get around. The cliché says, “the only way out is through,” but LiYana takes it further: there is no “out,” exactly. There is becoming. And who you become is catalyzed by exactly this kind of loss, if you’re willing to stay with it.
She writes from experience, not theory, and that difference is everything. She doesn’t position herself above the wreckage, pointing down with a clipboard. She’s in it with you—steady, soulful, unflinching—walking alongside as you face the self you’ve outgrown to meet the one ready to begin.
Reading this felt like being held and challenged at the same time. Like someone finally gave your darkness a name, a shape, a purpose—and then sat with you in it rather than rushing you toward the light. That is exactly what this kind of transformation requires.
What LiYana understands, and teaches with such tenderness and precision, is that authenticity isn’t found by avoiding pain; it’s forged inside it. This book doesn’t promise you a way out of your dark night. It promises you something better: yourself, on the other side.”
—Alexandra Beller, author of The Anatomy of Art

“Even though divorce is the thread that holds the book together, it’s really about being human: losing your footing, finding yourself again.
Anyone who’s experienced heartbreak, loss, or a dark night of the soul will find something meaningful here. It’s soulful, honest, and incredibly generous.
LiYana has a grounded, compassionate voice: you feel like she’s walking beside you, not telling you what to do. She shares practical tips, thoughtful exercises, and spiritual wisdom that help you move through your own healing.
I finished it feeling inspired, seen, and reminded that even our hardest chapters can become the beginning of something beautiful.”
—Ama, spiritual guide and life coach

“When you find yourself in the dark night, LiYana Silver is the one you want by your side.
Although you might not be able to see, listen to her voice as she assures you that there is a pathway through, one that she’s mapped, walked, and knows intimately. With zero sugar-coating, she offers fiercely compassionate, step-by-step guidance that will walk you into the light of new life again.”
—Lisa Schrader, author & founder of Awakening Shakti

“This book will hold your hand as you navigate the dark night of divorce.
Its sentences jump out with a visceral jolt. The somatic practices at the end of each chapter are especially helpful, allowing you to integrate the fullness and intensity of all you have experienced. I wish it had been written three years ago, when I needed its medicine for myself.
LiYana Silver has a unique gift to transmute all that she learns through the most excruciating initiations, so that we may experience guidance and reassurance when we are lost and terrified and find ourselves descending into the dark. Thank you, LiYana, for shining the light, nice and bright, helping us find our way back home!”
—Rachael Jayne, author of What the Horses Told Me, retreat facilitator, & soul purpose life coach

“What LiYana has written for us is a map through the ‘death’ experiences of crushing heartbreak and betrayal, all our future taken from us: she shows us a way to alchemize the ick and let it initiate us in love.
We feel not worthy of love because love left us. We think there’s something even worse inside of us than what we’ve witnessed outside of us. We are terrified of feeling and looking inside.
But this book gives us a way to feel, to look, to connect with ourselves. What we find will take our breath away: love itself looking back at us — an unshakable place to stand, a mini oasis in the chaos.
If you have the desire to not just survive this devastation but to heal and unwind and expand, to thrive and come alive, more resilient than ever — read on. Read it all. Read it now.”
—Dr. Saida Désilets, author of Desire and cofounder of the Embodied Love University

“When life takes us on a hard path, it’s counter-instinctual to lean into what hurts and scares us, but in my experience that’s where we can find the greatest treasures.
In Buddhist teaching mythology, the Peacock’s beautiful feathers come from digesting poison. I appreciate how LiYana has brought this idea forward and made it both more understandable and more actionable for readers. This book draws from the same core as Tibetan Vajrayana Buddhism and kindly yet fiercely points us in the direction of a profound realization: we are strong enough to access our own fortitude and cut through the hardest parts of our crises — and there we unearth our gems of self-esteem, self-kindness, self-understanding, and spiritual growth.”
—Shadi M, consultant to nonprofit organizations and traveler on the spiritual path

“This book came to me exactly when I needed it.
What really landed for me was the idea of emotional states such as depression, anxiety and self-doubt as messengers. It’s so heartening and empowering to realize that these emotions will shift when we ask the feelings: ‘What are you actually trying to tell me?’
LiYana writes with an uplifting tone without ever invalidating the seriousness of our grief and despair. Every word pulses with her wisdom and strength, and you feel as if you’ve been taken by the hand by a mother-sister-friend: a wise woman who has suffered the dark night of divorce herself. And here she is, on the other end of it, gracious and in one piece, with her capacity for joy intact.”
—Maya Fowler, author of The Elephant in the Room and Patagonia

“LiYana Silver’s book is the essential guide for women brave enough to step into the shadows and reclaim their light.
Do not mistake Waking up in the Dark Night of Divorce for a self-help book. It is a powerful alchemical manuscript and LiYana is the way-shower holding the lantern as you navigate the inner work necessary to reclaim, ignite, and remember your radiant soul.”
—Janell Flores Bolte, soul coach, teacher, and author of Death, A Love Story

“This book is nectar for people thirsting for connection to truth right now.
The dark night is a recognition we’ve outgrown something. It is the process by which we ripen and mature into the next phase of our life, work, and identity. It is always a maturing. A tempering. Some would call it a curing.
Though I’ve been through many dark nights and know there will be more in the future, I would not give them up. They ushered in self-knowledge and self-trust I wouldn’t have found any other way. LiYana has written us a precise, powerful guide. Please get it, read it, and be cured.”
—Meghna Majmudar, executive coach and author of The Liberated Leader

“LiYana Silver shines a light that invites us to go into the dark and not be afraid of the dark. There is a freedom that comes when we turn toward what is asking to be seen. Waking Up in the Dark Night of Divorce reminds us that if we can stay with ourselves through the process, not abandon ourselves, these dark nights can help us reach places we may never have been able to reach otherwise.
It is powerful to find someone who has been through the experience and has ripened through it. LiYana has done this deep work herself, and through this book helps us begin our own ripening.
Learning how to be with heartbreak, devastation, and loss — rather than rushing ourselves past them — is something we deeply need, both individually and collectively. I have so much gratitude for this work and book that LiYana is bringing to the world.”
—HeatherAsh Amara, author of Warrior Goddess Training and Wild, Willing, Wise

“This is the book I wish someone had put in my hand during my own darkest night. Everything I spent a year fumbling and bumbling and fighting and resisting my way to on my own, is laid out in these pages with LiYana as a loving, compassionate, honest guide.
My dark night of heartbreak changed everything in me and in my life. I see now that I had to go through it, but it was such a painful and lonely and confusing time, and this book would have been a welcome balm.
First of all, there’s being seen. Reading a description of what I’d gone through that felt true and made sense was so affirming and it touched my heart. When it comes to a dark night, you only know if you know, and LiYana knows.
Then there’s the explanation of what’s happening to you — the encouragement to surrender to the process, to follow the clues and your intuition, that you’re not crazy and you’re not alone and you won’t be stuck there forever.
Lastly there are the exercises. have never met anyone better than LiYana is at taking insight, understanding, conceptual ideas and translating them into work you can do in and with your heart and body to actually change real things in your life. This is why she’s my coach! And this gift she has is very present in this book.
This book is a priceless treasure to anyone who has gone through a dark night of the soul, even if they’ve already made it out. If you’re in one, you’ll be grateful you let this beautiful book go with you.”
—Shana Brodnax Reid, Leadership Coach

“If you read Feminine Genius, you are likely already a fan of LiYana Silver’s work and her gentle guidance through the journey of reclamation.
In Waking Up in the Dark Night of Divorce, true to her deeply embodied approach, LiYana helps us cultivate our capacity to listen to the body, stay the course, claim our Yes, and ultimately become loyal to our soul’s calling rather than to gender scripts, social conventions, or commitments we made in an earlier version of ourselves that no longer serve the ripening of who we are becoming.
LiYana helps us find meaning and inspiration in the most vulnerable, naked moments of confusion, betrayal, and bottomless grief. To open ourselves to the heart-wrenching, alchemizing process of growing and awakening. To access what we need to know now. And to emerge more fully ourselves.”
—Maci Daye, author of Passion and Presence: A Couple’s Guide to Awakened Intimacy and Mindful Sex

“Deeply personal and honest. Poetic and wise. A rare gem of a self-help and spiritual book. LiYana never professes to have all the answers, which only makes her insight and experience more relatable and valuable.
The stories LiYana shared were reflective pools in which I could glimpse aspects of myself, while her guidance and practices felt like the steady hand of a trusted friend. I can see myself turning to Waking Up again and again, whenever shadows deepen and another dark night calls.
I truly cannot wait to share this book with my own clients. It’s a brilliant example of how fully expressing one’s voice, as LiYana has done here, forges a deep and lasting connection to readers.”
—Lisa Colleen Carter, writing coach and retreat leader

“We’ve been taught to fear the dark: the dissolving, the grief, the separation, the loss of identity, the loss of knowing where we’re going or what we’re doing.
And yet, it is an extraordinarily necessary part of our lives. I’ve been married and divorced three times. So often when we separate from a partner, we are faced with how we have become divorced from a part of ourselves. The dark is where we retrieve the parts of us we’ve abandoned, left behind, or haven’t met yet.
Life isn’t always lived in the light. Who we are becoming, is forged in the dark.
Over and over, we must empty out, let go, and strip bare. And grow again.
LiYana’s work — and this book — not only normalizes that there are times of our lives that are going to be lived in the dark, she also gives us a roadmap for making it through these insanely hard yet transformative times.”
—Elayne Kalila Doughty MA, MFT, ordained priestess and psychotherapist

“No matter where you are in your divorce journey, you need Waking Up in the Dark Night of Divorce.
While you may be distracted at the start of your divorce by things like custody schedules and division of assets, LiYana reminds us that this moment is the perfect time to awaken to who we are about to become on the other side of this heartbreak.
She guides us through this journey, as painful as it is, inviting us to dig deep into ourselves, to find the gems that are still within us but were buried by the relationship, and to build something beautiful with them.
Weaving stories of present day marriages with archetypal imagery, she offers us a way through the pain, reminding us that while we may not know the way, we have everything we need inside us to emerge on the other side of the journey stronger and more whole than when we started.”
—Toby Wedgle, high conflict divorce coach

LiYana Silver is a coach and teacher who helps women (and their partners) get out of crisis, move through heartbreak, break repeating patterns, reclaim what was lost, and rebuild selves, lives, and relationships that are luminous with love. She is the author of Feminine Genius: The Provocative Path to Waking Up and Turning On the Wisdom of Being a Woman. She dances regularly and sometimes paints in oils, making home with her son, their cats, and a frankly impressive number of houseplants.

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